Travelling Merchant Other Contest Entry

Jocasta is a djinn, a powerful incorporeal spirit possessed of the ability to see into any and all futures.  She keeps a (mostly) human form by binding her body so it can't dissolve back into a column of glowy-glowy flames, and helps humans by selling them advice periodically.  Good advice can get pretty pricey, but even bad advice can be enough to keep you away from some unpleasant consequences.

Unfortunately for the buyer, Jocasta is also kind of a space case and regularly mixes up different classes of advice while simultaneously being too lazy to check before telling people.

The moral of this story is that it is a good idea not to go to the Scorpion Pits, even if she tells you to.